


she means everything to me

by Jenhoney



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Childhood Friends, Crushes, F/F, Genderbending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mentioned Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Mentioned Yoo Kihyun, Songfic, Unrequited Love, Why Did I Write This?, hangyeol is mentioned, minji is bi, minji loves sangah, sandong is mentioned, sangah is straight, sangah loves hangyeol, uhh, which is - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 16:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17584286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenhoney/pseuds/Jenhoney
Summary: To Minji, Sangah smells of lemongrass and linen and tastes of apple juice and peach. To Sangah, Minji tastes of nothing at all.alternatively: Minji is in love with Sangah. Sangah is in love with Hangyeol. Minji gives up on her own feelings to stay by Sangah's side.





	she means everything to me

**Author's Note:**

> this was based off of dodie's ["she"](https://youtu.be/Vpg3gtwepSs) so give it a listen while you read!!!

Minji couldn't stop the small smile on her lips as she watched Sangah speak so animatedly, her lips set in a pout and her arms crossed, her head moving so much her long hair bobbed with each movement. Her skirt rode up her thighs just slightly each time she shifted; Minji would often reach over and adjust it back into place, giving her a small nod each time to show that she was still listening. She wasn't, really, but Sangah didn't need to know that Minji had long since stopped paying attention to her rant about Dior and Hangyeol's relationship. She loved drama, that was true, but never more than she loved watching her best friend get worked up. 

 

Sometimes she wondered if it was wrong of her to look at Sangah like this, like the other girl was the most beautiful person on Earth, like Minji's sole purpose in life was to watch over Sangah and adore every aspect about her. The way she occasionally got too drunk and ended up spilling more than just her guts, the way she threw her head back in an ugly laugh at a joke Minji told her, the way her hand found Minji's when she was nervous, her lower lip tugged between her teeth, biting away at her lip tint and replacing the soft pinks with harsh reds. Sangah was undoubtedly beautiful, with thin yet kissable lips, a smile that stretched so widely her cheeks dimpled. Minji couldn't deny that she was in love with her best friend. 

 

"I really can't believe that witch would kiss him and post it like that! Does she want to die?" Sangah whined, flipping her hair back over her shoulder, nose scrunched in that little way it does when she's angry and sad at the same time. Minji could smell a faint scent of lemongrass and linen with the movement, moving closer to Sangah until their knees brushed. She didn't need to say anything, it seemed, Sangah's face immediately brightening as she looked at Minji. "Wanna drink? I have soju, but that should be enough, right?" She was up before Minji could nod her head. 

 

Leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, Minji gave a soft hum. She watched Sangah dance around the kitchen, grabbing glasses and bottles and stumbling on her own feet. Minji had to hold in her laugh to keep Sangah from pouting more. She leaned back against the couch again, her lips pursed as she saw Sangah's phone light up on the coffee table, a notification about her battery dying. She felt a small pang in her heart seeing a photo of her and Hangyeol together as the wallpaper. 

 

"Let's get drunk," Sangah singsonged as she stepped out of the kitchen, shuffling over to the coffee table and kneeling long enough to put the bottles and cups down. Minji laughed when Sangah jumped onto the couch beside her, her arm wrapping around Sangah's waist to steady her before she tumbled over. "Has anything happened with you?" Sangah asked, taking a bottle.   
  


Minji hummed quietly, blinking a few times in thought. "Sangdong asked me out. He's been going at it pretty intently, too," she explained, her own lips puckered the slightest bit. "It's odd. Has he not realized I've existed forever now?" 

 

Sangah gave a loud laugh, her fingers reaching over to run through Minji's shorter hair, their faces close. "It's because you're so pretty, Minji. Especially when you stop talking. My brother has good taste!" She praised, her breath ghosting over Minji's lips, her hand drifting from Minji's hair to her cheek to pat it lightly. Her breath tasted of apple juice and peace. She'd yet to drink any soju. "You're also strong, and my brother's pretty weak. How did he ask you out?" 

 

Holding her hand out in front of Sangah, Minji puffed her chest out slightly, clearing her throat. "Write it down here, your phone number," she mimicked, trying to hide her smile at Sangah's laughing. "I told him I didn't have a pen, you know? Your brother isn't as smart as you, Sangah." 

 

Her head thrown back, Sangah clapped her hands. "Of course he isn't! The hair dye went to his brain!" She laughed a while longer before she caught her breath, sitting up and looking at Minji again. "What'd the idiot say after that?" 

 

"Mmm... Then just tell me, I'll memorize it," Minji mimicked, letting her hand fall to her side, chest puffed out again. "Forget about memorizing your number, let's just date!" 

 

"Oh! What'd you tell him?" Sangah asked, the grin on her lips impossibly wide. She leaned forward, allowing her eyes to catch Minji's. 

 

"I didn't tell him anything. I bowed and walked out," Minji explained, her cheeks stained pink. She glanced away for a moment. She wouldn't tell either of them how she felt. 

 

Sangah pouted, her shoulders slouching. Her skirt rode up again, showing more of her inner thighs, only managing to deepen Minji's blush. "You should date my brother, Minji. That way I can get away with murder if you ever get hurt," Sangah said softly, reaching over to nudge Minji's shoulder. 

 

"I'll date your brother when you and Hangyeol finally get together, deal?" Minji murmured with a half smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. She felt her heart ache when Sangah's eyes lit up again, her head bobbing fiercely as she nodded. 

 

"Minji, stay the night with me, hmm? I have clothes that'll fit you. We can get drunk and complain more about life, you know?" Sangah asked, taking Minji's hands and cradling them between her hands, a pout on her lips. She shifted to kneel on the couch, eyes pleading. Minji didn't know how to explain that she would do whatever Sangah asked without the pouting. 

 

"Yeah, okay. Let's change, hmm? If you stay in that skirt any longer, you're gonna rip it," Minji said softly, allowing her lips to turn upwards in a soft smile. She watched as Sangah let out a happy squeal, rising to her feet and rushing to her room. Minji could see her dance around her room happily, the door open wide as she searched for pajamas for Minji; as she tried to change while hopping about on one foot. A buzz from the table attracted Minji's attention, her eyes falling to see Hangyeol's contact on the screen; a text asking if they could talk. She couldn't help the small bitter smile on her lips. "Sangah!" 

 

"Yeah?" Sangah called back, poking her head out to stare at Minji. Her skirt was wrinkled. She clutched a pair of tacky pajama bottoms and an old stained shirt. 

 

"You got a text from Hangyeol," Minji said, softening her smile as she watched Sangah nearly trip over her own feet in her hurry to grab her phone. She unlocked her phone, eyes scanning over the text several times, a grin on her lips. 

 

"Minji, I'll be back later, okay? I promise," Sangah said, leaving her pajamas on the table, already running back into her room to do her makeup again. She ducked her head out again after a few minutes, a flustered smile on her lips. "I'm not ditching you, I promise. I'm gonna come home as soon as I'm through talking with Hangyeol-" 

 

"No, it's okay," Minji interrupted, smile still in place as she stood, hands already smoothing down the fabric of her dress. "I'll stay until you leave. I'll tell you if you look pretty, I'll put all of this away, and then I'll go home. Stay with Hangyeol. You haven't seen him since Dior came around," she continued, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. She watched Sangah duck her head back into the room and took Sangah's phone, abandoned once more on the coffee table, and plugged it up to her charger before she took the cups and soju, carrying them into the kitchen. 

 

"Minji!" Sangah called out after a few moments, rushing into the living room with a bright grin. She was wearing the same thing as always, her makeup done just the same, but she was just as stunning as ever. She waited for Minji to step out of the kitchen before she pulled her into a bear hug, her nose buried in Minji's hair. "Thank you, Minji. I promise I'll make it up to you," she whispered. 

 

"I told you, it's okay, Sangah," Minji murmured, trying to keep her jaw from setting, trying to keep the tears from springing to her eyes. She stepped back from Sangah, walking over to her charger and unplugging her phone, handing it over to her with a soft smile. "Get your man," she encouraged softly, watching Sangah grin and walk out. She lowered her head, lips pursed, chest feeling empty. She knew that the moment Sangah met up with Hangyeol, it was likely they would get together. She knew it was impossible for Sangah to return her feelings. She pressed a hand over her heart, taking a deep breath as she thought of how Sangah smelled, of how she tasted, of how she was so beautiful that she could be captured by a polaroid picture and look like art, never looking out of place. 

 

She took Sangah's pajamas, walking into her room and folding the clothes, putting them back in her dresser. The room smelled of nothing but Sangah, lemongrass and peach and linen. She sat down in front of Sangah's bed, her knees pulled to her chest as she looked around the room. She knew that Sangah loved Hangyeol. She knew that Sangah would never belong to her in the way that Minji belonged to her. She knew that Sangah would never let Minji hurt this much if she knew about her feelings. Raising a hand to rub at her eyes, Minji gave a slow sigh, her head falling back against the bed. 

 

Sangah tasted of everything Minji loved, everything that was so uniquely Sangah. But to Sangah, Minji tasted of nothing at all. Sangah was never found breathless by Minji's smile. Her heart never raced when Minji laughed. Her heart never stopped when Minji brushed her hair from her cheek. She'd never wondered how it would feel to kiss Minji. But Minji didn't mind much. 

 

Sangah meant everything to her. If giving up and helping her get with Hangyeol made Sangah happy, Minji wouldn't hesitate. 

 

Minji stood up slowly, walking out of the room and shutting the door gently, hearing the click of the lock. She looked around the house, finding evidence of her and Sangah, finding evidence of Sangah and Hangyeol. She was okay with the hurt. She could learn to love another, if it meant staying by Sangah's side. 

**Author's Note:**

> i stayed up a bit too late purely because i was listening to this on loop and thought of this!! i've honestly been listening to dodie a lot which is why i have like 5 stories on her songs already whoopsies!! i wrote this at like 11pm and i have school in the morning so i guess i'll die!!! thank you so much for reading!! feel free to message me on [twitter!!](https://twitter.com/jenhoney100?lang=en)


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